Paula Loves Josh

Isaac's First Week

2012-03-05T03:58:00.004-08:00

He's here! Finally, all the waiting is over and our precious boy is here to hold and adore. Up until the very end I kept hoping that I would go into labor naturally, but that did not seem to be God's plan, so I went in to be induced on Monday Feb. 20th. Isaac Joshua was born on Feb. 21st at 4:08 am--birth story to come. This birth was more difficult for me than the birth of my firstborn, partially because Isaac was about a pound bigger and had a larger head. Also, since the induction took so long I was very tired after he was born--Josh and I went right to sleep in our deluxe hospital bed. We paid more to get the nice room with a double bed. My mom stayed with us and helped as we needed it. After a few hours of rest they brought Isaac to our room. He had nursed right away after being born and I was eager to feed him again after getting off to a rocky start with my firstborn. Isaac was a natural! Sometimes it took him a while to latch on properly, but then when he got it he had a good strong suck, so that was a relief to me. After nursing he would get very sleepy and would conk out for a few hours. Josh and I rested and ate to get our energy back and Josh enjoyed having access to TV stations that played Jeremy Lin's games and interviews over and over. Yes, he is 'Linsane!'

Isaac was born in the middle of the night Tuesday and we stayed in the hospital until Thursday. This time we were at St. Joseph's Hospital in Kaohsiung and I highly recommend it to anyone who values breastfeeding and rooming in with their baby. Both at the hospital and after getting home we enjoyed some sweet visits from sweet friends and were/are blessed by the many gifts and congratulations that people have brought to us. At home Isaac continued to be a sleepyhead, eating about every three hours during the day and about every 4-5 hours during the night. (I usually have to wake him up but sometimes I can't get myself to move.) So far Isaac has just been a dream baby, and more how I expected a newborn to be from everything I read before Caleb was born. Caleb was much more uptight and demanding as a newborn and didn't like to be put down or fall asleep or have you sit down while you held him. Isaac is pretty content to sit in his chair and falls asleep easily almost anywhere. I have to make sure I don't neglect him sometimes because he's such an easy baby! (so far)

Caleb is doing well. He had a hard time accepting his little brother at first but has made amazing progress in the first week. At first he couldn't even look at his brother, but now he points at him and squeals or tries to touch him. You have to guide his hands to make sure he's gentle. The hardest thing for Caleb though is watching Isaac nurse. It makes Caleb jealous and sometimes he even tries smashing his head on the [tile] ground to get our attention. A few times I've attempted nursing them at the same time but I am a little worried Caleb will crush Isaac so I'm trying not to make it a habit. The other day when Isaac was crying, Caleb tried to share his crackers with him, so I see his sweetness and sharing heart coming out even though he struggles sometimes. God has blessed us with sweet boys!

One big blessing during Isaac's first week was a baby shower that my BCC (church) friends threw for me while my mom was here. Since Isaac was so new we didn't bring him, but the ladies prayed blessings on him and me and on our family and it was a wonderful time for my mom and I. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed by the many blessings God has brought us.

Two quick comical notes:

1. What's under that blanket?

When Caleb was new and I used to use a nursing cover to feed him, people always asked me what was under the blanket, or asked if the baby was sleeping and would try to peek in. This time around, my mom brought us an awesome double stroller and I usually cover Isaac up with a blanket to avoid people's questions about how old he is. (It's taboo to take out a baby that is less than three months in Taiwan.) But people aren't used to double strollers like the one I have and they see Caleb in the front and point to the back and ask, "What's under that blanket?" Makes me laugh.

2, hormones

I remember having this problem when Caleb was born too. I feel really prematurely emotional about Isaac growing up and moving out. If I try to talk about it, I start crying. Josh just laughs at me and I know I'm being a little ridiculous but I just can't seem to help being a blubbery mess!

That's all for now!
-Paula

The Waiting

2012-02-18T06:35:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been a long and frustrating five weeks. That's how long I've been in the 'any moment now' phase of preparing for our second son's birth. Following in his brother Caleb's footsteps, it seems he's waiting until the last minute. Caleb went 9 days late, which seemed like forever, coming the day before the doctor was going to induce. Tomorrow will be 14 days late for this baby, and the doctor will induce the day after that (Monday) if he doesn't come on his own by then. I am so frustrated because Josh has had a month or so off of school and he goes back next week. Also my mom arrives tomorrow night for a visit and I just wanted to be already settled in at home with Baby before she arrived. I couldn't have imagined that I could go this late. At this point things may not even have gotten started by the time she arrives. And then there are the dates I wanted--Feb. 12th because it's a niece's birthday, Feb. 14th for Valentine's, and even though I didn't want to wait that long, Feb. 16th for Josh's birthday would have been so special! Every day I am so sure that today is the day and then I go to bed thinking 'what happened?' I am trying to trust God's timing, but I just don't get it. I feel like we missed out on having some sweet family time, and now I may miss out on having a shot at a natural birth. I reserve the right to get an epidural if I want one, but after reading so much more about birth this time I really wanted to be able to try moving around during labor to see if it would help me get through it. The way they do things in Taiwan doesn't really support being able to move, especially if you get induced. I know this is a lot of whining, but I am low on friends in my life so I'm letting it all out here.

Any mother who's gone late knows the waiting can be excruciating. You try to prepare yourself for it. I did. I asked my doctor to move my due date a week back (from Feb. 5th to Feb. 12th) because they only let you go a week past due date here. Now I wonder if that was such a wise move after all. Anyways, I tried to focus on that new due date as the real one, even though I knew it wasn't accurate. But then Baby started measuring big. By 37 weeks he was bigger than Caleb was at birth. 'Surely he will come out sooner,' I thought. WRONG. So I packed my bag a little over 5 weeks ago and started bugging Josh to always have his cell phone on and charged. But nothing has happened. Not even any real contractions. It doesn't seem like it should be that hard to wait, but it is.

I guess God is trying to grow some more patience and trust in me. And thankfulness. I do thank God for a healthy pregnancy. Really, I can't complain too much. And yet I've been borderline depressed lately--low appetite, not only for food but for life. The days drag. I drag. Caleb has been spending lots of time at Grandma's house and I stopped even fighting it. Bored. Lonely. Waiting.

It's made me think a bit about Christ's coming. I don't really live in that 'any moment now,' kind of mindset. It's too hard! But I realize I need to cultivate more of a desire for his coming in my life. Speaking of which, the season of Lent begins next week. What are you doing to prepare for Easter?

Thanks for letting me vent,
Paula

Happy 2012

2012-01-04T08:01:00.001-08:00

It seems a bit funny that I am late in writing this post as one of my new year's resolutions from last year was to make peace with being late. It's actually the only resolution I kept and it has helped Josh and I avoid numerous conflicts, so I'd say it was a good one. The only time I CAN'T relax about being late is when I'm teaching. When I'm teaching if I'm not at least ten minutes early I go into a slight panic attack. I had two other resolutions in 2011 and I didn't really keep either of them. One was to get more hair washes, but Josh won't let me because I'm pregnant. The other was to journal more--I give myself a D- on that one. Oh well, it was a good year, and I can honestly say that I enjoyed every day with my baby boy. The wonder never wears off for me. Even though I can't slow time down, I can make sure that I cherish the moments, and even though there are hard times, for the most part I really do cherish each moment with Caleb as well as the times our family of three (almost 4) is together.

Well, instead of resolutions for 2012, I've decided to come up with a list of goals for small things I hope to accomplish this year, mostly things I have never done. Or some of them I have just never done in Taiwan. I am listing 12 goals, but my real and actual goal is to accomplish 10 of them. Hey, I need a lot of grace, people. Here they are:

1. Make my own Play-doh
2. Use the mymemories software that I won to make something glorious
3. bake bread
4. make stovetop popcorn
5. make lasagna
6. make yogurt
7. make deviled eggs
8. make pancakes
9. make a cheeseball
10. make chicken lettuce wraps
11. make enchiladas
12. make carrot cake

I love how items 3-12 are all food items. Well, I am trying to learn how to cook so it makes sense. One drawback to my current setup is that I can't use the stovetop and the oven at the same time, but at least I have an oven now so I won't complain.

I guess I do have one resolution, but it's more of a lifetime resolution than a new year's resolution. I've been reading Love and Respect by Dr. Eggerichs and realized I need to learn how to speak respectfully to my husband (including facial expresssion and tone of voice.) Man, is that hard! But I know it will be worth it in terms of benefiting my marriage and household. Other than that I just keep on keeping on in the gentle school of homemaking. Sometimes I still get really overwhelmed or discouraged, but I try my best to stay positive and focus on small improvements.

This year we look forward to the arrival of our second little bundle of joy!

Happy 2012 everyone!

God's Gentle School of Homemaking

2011-11-06T05:50:00.000-08:00

My thoughts and words about myself as a homemaker used to be hopelessly negative. In my mind or out loud I was constantly berating myself, talking about how incompetent I was and what a complete failure I was in the area of homemaking. As a child I guess I gave my mom such a hard time about doing chores that she never really taught me her methods of cooking for/cleaning up after a family. Because I was a good student and found my sense of accomplishment in the academic world, I never worried about it. But then I got married, had kid(s), and stopped being a student. All the sudden my lack of good daily cleaning/cooking habits and lack of general kitchen/household knowledge seemed overwhelming and too daunting to ever overcome. I felt worthless in the home. So for my first year of marriage I stayed out of the home. And my second year of marriage I went back to school. But then I had my sweet son Caleb and I wanted to change everything. I want to be the kind of mom my own mother was--always providing meals, entertainment and a nice home environment for us without ever seeming frazzled, rushed or tired. In fact, I hardly ever noticed her doing household chores growing up, she did it so naturally and casually without ever complaining or even asking for help. I will probably never be quite like her, but I knew I had to make some changes. Yet I didn't know where to begin. I am such a lazy slob deep down...

So who would be my teacher in this new school of homemaking? I sometimes ask my mom questions but she lives a bit far away. My mother-in-law always leaves the house spic and span but our relationship is a bit strained. I see women around me managing their households well but nobody seems willing to really tell me the nitty gritty of how they do it--cleaning schedules, techniques, menu plans, etc. I don't think anyone realizes that I'm really starting out at level zero here; I really know nothing. Only recently I couldn't boil eggs. I still don't know how to properly clean a toilet or shower. I know it's pathetic. But I have a good, patient and gentle teacher now: God himself! Okay, he often uses other sources to teach me, but little by little useful information is sinking in and then slowly, slowly step by step I am implementing it. I know without God's power to change I wouldn't be able to take those baby steps. And when I do, I feel so good. But most importantly, God has been changing the way I think, talk, view myself as a woman.

Like He so often does, He's turning the negative into a positive. Even if it's true that I'm the worst homemaker in the world, dwelling on it sure doesn't help anything. Instead, I've been focusing on what one thing can I do to bless my family (and really myself) today or right now. It's baby steps, but when I look to Him, God is faithful to show me the next step, and He has been using a slew of blogs written mostly by other Christian homemakers to instill knowledge into my thick skull. It's also two steps forward and one step back, but even though I have slip-ups and sometimes give in to laziness, I never want to go back to the way I used to be. Two weeks ago I tried my first menu plan. I didn't stick to it completely, partly because my mother in law brought enough food for an army mid-week, but for the most part I enjoyed it and it took anxiety out of my days. I struggle with guilt over asking Josh to watch Caleb and let me cook, but I'm trying to realize that it is a blessing for my whole family if I can cook, and he might have spent the time going out to buy dinner anyways. There's much to say and I don't know if I'm expressing myself very well, but I'm learning so much and feel so encouraged. I have a LONG way to go, but I'm not worrying about that. Once I make it a habit to do the minimum things I am doing now, I can build on that foundation. I no longer say that I am terrible, useless, awful--I say "I am learning, I am improving, I will make one change to improve this week." This week was my birthday week and I let things slide in order to celebrate. It was good for a day or two, but then I started to go crazy because I am depending on myself to follow through with these new habits. When I don't, I let myself down. I never knew how good I could feel about myself for doing simple chores and following through on things I tell myself I will do. I used to say I would do it but then I never would.

Part of this newfound success comes from Caleb learning to fall asleep without me nursing him to sleep. It sounds small, but it's revolutionized my life. There was a big hangup in this area because of a disagreement between Josh and I, but an older couple gave us some good advice and Josh gave me the green light to try to do things differently. God showed me step by step what to do to suit both Caleb's and my personality and he learned faster and more easily than I imagined possible to fall asleep in his crib. It wasn't even very painful. And once he learned that, he somehow started going to bed earlier and earlier without my prompting. The drawback is that this means earlier mornings for me, but the total worth-it payback is that at night I have energy to do household chores or some cooking/meal prep. This has made such a difference in my life that I can't even describe it. Anyways, all this to say that I am no longer a student in the academic sense of the word, but I love my new enrollment in God's Gentle School of Homemaking and I long to be a blessing to my household.

Proverbs 14:1 says "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." I want to be the wise woman. Some days the foolish woman comes back out, but I am not focusing on that. I am focusing on the fact that I am improving and that SOME OF THE TIME I am building up my house with wisdom. God, please give me the grace and continued guidance to learn to be wise and work with strong arms (Prov 31:17) to build this house, which is really YOUR house. Amen!

God is Good

2011-06-26T08:56:00.000-07:00

God is Good.

I've been thinking about the meaning of this phrase lately.

Usually people don't use it to mean what it really means. Or maybe that's just my opinion.
A lot of times it seems to me that people say it to mean: God just did something great for me.
Think about it. If someone says "God is good," we want to know what good thing is going on in
their lives. Not that this is a bad thing. We should be grateful to God for all the
good things He does in our lives. We should give Him the praise. But I think the phrase "God is good"
has a more complete meaning.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that God is good apart from our circumstances. The fact that God is
good is a deep unchangeable Truth. Whether things are going well or not, God is good. Sometimes
when we look at the world it takes faith to say God is good, but it is still true no matter what.

When I look at the situation in Congo with the mass mistreatment and mutilation of women, my heart breaks and I
wonder what the solution could be.

Still, God is good.

When I think about the suicide bomber who killed women and children in the maternity ward of a
hospital in Afghanistan I wonder how people can be so awful.

Still, God is good.

The sex trade seems to be increasing in both magnitude and perversity. It makes me sick.

Still, God is good.

Nothing will ever change this.

And in heaven, we will be able to experience his goodness without all the sadness and chaos that
are part of life on earth. I very much look forward to that.

So the response to "God is good" is as it should be: "All the time." But I didn't use to believe that, even when I
said it. Don't say it mindlessly. Really soak in the truth. God is good. All the time. Even when I can't
see it. Even when circumstances make me want to question it. Even when I am struggling.

God is good.

Do you believe it?

life lately

2011-06-06T23:23:00.001-07:00

I begin most posts this way, but sorry I'm really bad at this whole blogging thing:

Anyways, apart from having my hands full with my little bundle of joy, another reason for not writing was I have to sheepishly face up to the fact that I did not in fact take my own 40 day gospel challenge. But I've been working on having an open heart to listen to the Holy Spirit's guidance to talk to people I meet and say something that will glorify God. A step in the right direction. Not a leap but a step, nevertheless.

So, life lately has been good. I post photos of our little guy on Facebook mostly and am using this blog for words. That means having two hands to type. Caleb is taking a rare nap at the moment, but if I cut off abruptly I guess that means he woke up. We're having a lot of fun with him these days. He's pulling up on furniture or anything else he can find--stable or not, and starting to take a few steps while hanging on to things. Usually that ends in some sort of faceplant if mama isn't right there to catch him. He can crawl pretty well now but he doesn't crawl long because he usually finds something of interest and stops to investigate it or try to climb onto it. He seems really smart to us, but of course we are his parents. This week his new trick is that he's started clapping spontaneously. Not really making much sound yet, but he's got the motion almost right. He also spontaneously initiated a couple of games of peek-a-boo with me by pulling the blanket over his head and then peeking out suddenly. He's pretty stingy with his laugh but when he does laugh, it's the sweetest sound. And his Ama taught him how to throw--not sure how I feel about that one yet!

Josh and I have been working on our marriage. For those of you with young kids I guess you can understand when I say we hit some speedbumps recently. But God has been helping us--sometimes not as dramatically or quickly as I would want, but in His own way and His own timing. Thank you for all of your prayers. Last night our friends Mike and Kathy sponsored us to go on a sweet date at The Bayou! I just finished the leftovers for lunch--delish. Thanks, guys. Good meal and sweet conversation. Well, wish I could stay and chat but 10,000 other things are calling for my attention. Hope to check back in sooner or later.

the gospel

2011-04-11T23:45:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, I have given up facebook in preparation for Easter. It's not because I'm super holy or anything like that, I just wanted to spend more time with God, reflecting on the cross. Easter becomes so much more meaningful when we prepare our hearts for it! Anyways, I have had limited success with using my time more wisely, but being off facebook has been freeing in a few unexpected ways. First of all, I realized that I was running to facebook for affirmation instead of turning to God. Ultimately the praises of others are not satisfying, but finding our worth in Christ is. Also, although I miss being in touch with people, I had become so addicted to facebook that I wanted to know what was going on with everybody all the time. It created this artificial sense of friendship which has filled a void created by being home a lot with Caleb. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being at home with Caleb, but I am not an island--I am part of the body of Christ and I need to be with others as well. When that part of me feels fulfilled by facebook I don't do as good of a job reaching out to others around me. I don't think facebook is evil. I think it serves a purpose, especially since I am far from many loved ones, but I had given it too much importance in my life and that needed to be dealt with.

That said, I have been thinking and God has been working in me. He has been healing some unhealthy stuff in me and bringing up other stuff we still need to work on. (His work is never finished!) The other day I was with Caleb at the park and it was afternoon so many grandparents were out with their grandchildren. In Taiwanese society grandparents often raise the kids while parents work. My mother-in-law would like to have it that way too, but there's no way I'm giving up the chance to raise my amazing son. Well I was sitting there and a though popped into my head as thoughts sometimes do. I though, "Why don't I share the gospel more?" I remember talking with my family about all the things I love about Taiwan. One was that people are often open to hearing about Jesus. It is hard for them to make the decision to become a Christian, but they are usually open to discussing Jesus or even coming to a Bible study. However, I have become so super-focused on being a mom that I have let this part of my life go. I think to a point, that super-focus is given to moms by God. It helps us deal with the huge life change of becoming a mom and to take our responsibility seriously. It helps to ensure the survival of our little ones. On the other hand, in all things we need balance, right?

I often get overwhelmed with the idea of sharing the gospel. I think, if I open myself up to the Holy Spirit's leading, I will be sharing the gospel all day every day and never get a break. Also it scares me because I am timid by nature. So I ignore this part of my calling. I wasn't always this way. When I first came to Taiwan I saw sharing the gospel as a large part of my purpose for being here so I did it enthusiastically. However, the longer I have stayed and the more I understand the culture, the more monumental the obstacles seem. I know that it is extremely difficult for a person to go against their family's wishes and become a Christian. I know that Satan has used cults to create much confusion about Christianity. I know that it is easy for a person to want to add Jesus into their religious conglomerate of beliefs without understanding that He must be our one and only. So at some point I stopped sharing. I stopped wanting to share. I lost my passion.

Along with the thought, "Why don't I share the gospel more," another thought popped into my brain. "What if I did an experiment where I shared the gospel every day for 40 days and I just see what happens." I have kept thinking of this challenge sine that day. I have a few problems with it. First, it seems like it is making light of a very serious matter. Second, it seems like it is taking into my own hands a work that should be led by the Holy Spirit. Those thoughts seem rational. Until I think further. Jesus gave us the great commission. It is part of our work as Christians to share the gospel. If I shared the gospel once a day it would be pretty much a 100% increase from what I'm doing now. What's the worst that could happen? 40 rejections? So what? Also, just because I do this 40 day experiment, it doesn't mean I am limited. I have in mind to use the 40 days after Easter, in accordance with how many days the resurrected Lord walked the earth. But that doesn't mean I can't start practicing now. And it doesn't mean I can only share once a day. And it doesn't mean I stop after 40 days. You know what I mean? I mean the way of doing it doesn't sound very spiritual, but it is a good thing to do and in theory I would hope it would help me to rebuild the habit of sharing the gospel into my life. I have heard it said that when Jesus said "Go into all the world," it could be translated "as you go." We are to share the gospel as we go about our daily lives. Right now I am not doing that. Besides, many people are drawn to talking to me because of my adorable baby. How threatening can I be with Caleb strapped to me?

So I think I'm going to do it. I'll keep you posted, but I can't think of a real reason not to. And now, telling you about it will help solidify my commitment. I want to get a few tools ready (evangecube, wordless book, etc.). Tell me if you have any other great ones. If I indeed follow through I will try to be faithful to posting results here, but I am really bad at blogging so no promises. But if anything exciting happens I'll be sure to let you know. Please join me in prayer if you think of it!

-paula

failure

2011-04-08T09:13:00.000-07:00

So it turns out I am a total failure at this blog thing. I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I am going to--as some wise person put on their facebook status--lower my standards and be awesome! If you can't handle this kind of awesomeness then get out of my blog! Haha.

But really, I've been thinking about failure lately. When Caleb was born and I was trying to learn how to feed him (and help him unlearn what the hospital nurses had taught him) I was spending many frustrating hours either nursing or pumping and with little success. Around that time, my mom gave me an ipod. This quickly made my nursing times much more entertaining and relaxing. I watched funny videos on youtube to cheer myself up. And somehow or other I got addicted to failblog. At that time on their site they posted the motto: making you feel better about yourself every day--or something like that. Since then they have removed that motto, but I still look at failblog (the clean stuff) every once in a while for that very reason. There's something about watching idiots try something stupid and land on their faces that makes me feel better about myself. Sad, I know, but what can I say. By God's grace, and through the support of others I have been able to nurse Caleb successfully for 8 months now and it has been a wonderful experience that I wouldn't trade for anything. But now that he is moving into the "solids" territory I am feeling like a failure again because nursing became so convenient and I can't seem to get in the habit of making and taking baby food every day. Pray for me!

Anyways, I have a tendency to label myself a failure at the first sign of trouble. I don't know where it comes from. Josh always tells me I'm a winner for even having been born--he's a bit more optimistic than I am! But God is showing me something new.

Here's the truth: sometimes I fail. Sometimes I am a 'failure.' But that's not the point. When I am focused on myself and beating myself up it means I am not focused on God and His great, unconditional love for me. That means I am missing the point of my life. Sometimes I know I talk about how sucky I am because I crave hearing people say that I am not sucky. I get into this problem with my husband a lot because he will not play along. Here's the good news: it's okay for me to be sucky. I don't need people to tell me that I am not sucky or not a failure. In fact, I probably am a big sucky failure. But God loves me. So if you hear me talking about how terrible I am at this or that, please don't give in and correct me. Just tell me that Jesus loves me and let it be.

I have decided to make this my "life verse."

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

歌林多後書 12:9-10
9 他對我說：我的恩典夠你用的，因為我的能力是在人的軟弱上顯得完全。所以，我更喜歡誇自己的軟弱，好叫基督的能力覆庇我。
10 我為基督的緣故，就以軟弱、凌辱、急難、逼迫、困苦為可喜樂的；因我甚麼時候軟弱，甚麼時候就剛強了。

addendum to last post

2011-01-11T19:00:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone, thanks for the support and feedback from my last post. Two things to add in:

#1 I greatly value all of your advice and suggestions, especially stories of what worked or didn't work for you. It's the pushy advice that I don't like. All of the books are pushy, basically saying that if you don't do it their way you are an idiot. And some people I meet are pushy. And a certain family member on Josh's side is VERY pushy. It's the pushiness I don't like. I like advice.

#2 I have some time off the kindergarten I teach in the mornings so I am going to try to get C on a more predictable schedule. So far, day 3, it's already going well. He is already on a routine, but it's just tightening up the time frames to within an hour and getting him to bed earlier that will make a big difference. It requires a bit of discipline on my part, but let's face it. I have to grow up sometime. I will report back to you how it is going soon.

Thanks for the prayers. I feel them and I feel loved!

parenting continued

2011-01-09T06:14:00.001-08:00

Dear anyone who reads my blog,

It's an exciting moment for me--I actually got Caleb to sleep before 10 (more difficult than it sounds) and now I am writing on my blog and less than a month has passed since my last entry. Hopefully this is me turning over a new leaf--and Caleb too. In my last post I wrote about the gloriousness of motherhood and I am still on a mommy's high, but I also felt that I should talk about the other side of parenting--the tough stuff. I feel the difficult side of parenting is highlighted much more often than the pleasures, but they shouldn't be ignored either. You've heard the good, now the bad and the ugly:

Okay, so no big surprises here--parenting is hard. For me, one of the hardest things has been believing in myself. I call it "momfidence," or trusting my motherly instincts. Fortunately I have had some wise friends to encourage me in this area, but as a person who generally lacks confidence anyways, it has been hard to muster enough momfidence to stand up to everybody and their mother who has a strong opinion to offer me. You may have heard of the five love languages. I think they need to come out with a new edition: The Five Love Languages of Asia. Let's see--there's smothering, making sacrifices that nobody asked you to make, food, criticism, and of course: OFFERING UNWANTED ADVICE. The latter has been apparent to me since moving to Asia, but never more than when I was pregnant or (now) gave birth. Even non-Asians have a lot of advice to offer when you become a parent, and I am not innocent. I offer advice to my new mom friends too. However, it can be OVERWHELMING for a new mom. There's your husband's opinion, your doctor's opinion, your family members' opinions, your church members' opinions, friends' opinions, the opinions of the books you read, and--my favorite--any Joe Schmoe off the street's opinion. I have received advice from the guard in our building, people sitting next to me on the MRT, workers in the department store, a young guy exercising at the park, and I could go on. The problem is that I really want to be a good mom. So I read all the books. All the books with differing opinions. All the books that tell me I'm a terrible parent if I do this or don't do that. All the books that made me want to SCREAM!

But some wise friends told me that God chose me to be Caleb's mom. Some wise friends told me to enjoy the moments as they pass. Some wise friends told me to listen to that still small voice that's telling ME what's right for me and MY kid at the moment. And so, at times, I have been able to relax and trust and enjoy. But there are other loud voices telling me all the time that I'm doing it all wrong. I can be critical of myself so sometimes my own voice is the loudest. One of the hardest things about being a parent is drowning those voices out.

Next on the list: scheduling. Despite reading all those books I have not successfully gotten Caleb on a real schedule. I like to be flexible. Or so I say. I'm not sure what I'm more afraid of--the hard work I believe scheduling will be or the risk of failure. So we have general patterns of life, but no schedule. At times I feel proud of myself for this. My kid is flexible. I am able to go out with him at many different times of the day. I don't have a to lay out a strict regimen for babysitters. He is able to fall asleep outside, etc. At other times I worry if I'm ruining him for life, if he's really getting enough sleep, if not having a schedule will make him anxious or maladjusted in some other way...And then, to be totally honest, I have my own problems with it. When Caleb takes a nap I never know how long I will have. He tends to cat nap--30 minutes here and there, which one of the books told me is horrible and unacceptable. (However since he's a happy and healthy boy I decided to ignore that book.) So when he finally does fall asleep (he resists it) I jump on my long to-do list or just try to get in a meal and I sometimes have a rush of anxiety. Because I don't know how much time I have I find it difficult to prioritize what to do next. I've also found cooking nearly impossible because I am slow at cooking and I can't very well get halfway through cooking a meal and just leave it.

Which brings up another difficult issue--mother in law. She loves us and she loves Caleb. But she has a much stronger personality than me, and she overpowers me. I have given up having a career at this time in order to be a mom and homemaker. However, I am starting out at level zero as a homemaker and I find it completely overwhelming most of the time. So my mother in law pushing me out of the way and doing it herself is not helping me learn or develop good habits. It also prevents Josh from really needing to pitch in. I know she loves us. I am praying to love her as well. That's all I'll say about this for now.

Next problem: getting Caleb to sleep! Okay, I admit it. Caleb and I have developed some bad habits. I read the books that tell you you're a terrible parent if you ever rock your kids to sleep. It's worse than that. I NURSE him to sleep. I know, I know. According to the books I'm going to mommy-hell in a hand basket. However, a woman I respect as a mother and nurse told me to enjoy rocking and nursing my baby to sleep because the time period when they allow you to do that is so short. And I don't mind. So it seems ideal, right? Sometimes it is. He's tired. I nurse him. He sleeps. We put him in the crib. He stays asleep longer for being full.

Well, that's how it started anyways. Now we rarely have nights like that because as soon as he senses that I'm gone, he cries. I know, I know I'm doing everything wrong by making him dependent on me to sleep and not letting him learn how to figure out how to fall asleep by himself. Don't judge. I tried letting him "cry it out" a couple of times and it seemed like a worse alternative than giving up my evening "free time." (By free time I mean time to wash dishes, put away laundry, and spend time with my husband.) So now we're a little bit stuck. Trying to figure out what works for our family without making anyone crazy in the process. I have heard that bedtime routines work for some people but I have been hesitant to try them because of my fear of scheduling. Sometimes we get home late and I need to get him to sleep as soon as possible. I don't want to have to go through a routine. My fear may be irrational, I know. I'm working through it. Pray for me. Pray for us.

Okay, the final difficult thing to deal with is another cultural thing. In Chinese there is this concept for babies and children of "guai/ bu guai," which roughly translates to obedient or disobedient. If a baby cries too much or is too hard to console, they are deemed "bu guai." To Westerners, a baby is not 'disobedient.' A baby is a baby and we do what we can to help them not cry, and try not to worry about it too much if they do. This has been a bit of a difficult issue for me. Nobody likes to hear that their child is disobedient, but when it's a baby it is even more difficult to take. I know no harm is meant, but I have to admit it; I take it a bit personally. Working through this as well--prayers appreciated.

Okay, there you have it--my struggles as a new mom. Not included was my struggle with breastfeeding, which was very difficult for the first month or so. Now it is a dream and I'm so glad we persevered. And I think most of my church friends now know what I'm doing when they see the nursing cover on. (Most of them had never seen a woman nurse with a cover and would ask if they could see the baby underneath the cover--ummm, not right now...) Praise God for allowing me to feed my baby--what a blessing!

Love to all who read my blog!

-p

Goodbye 2010

2010-12-26T22:12:00.000-08:00

A good year for life, a bad year for blogging...but hoping to change that in 2011. What a joy 2010 has been with the arrival of my firstborn son. I truly regret not journaling--blogging or otherwise--so I have made it a New Year's resolution to resume journaling--mostly on paper but occasionally here as well. I haven't written since I recorded my birth story so let me update you on the last {wonderful} five months of my life.

I was terrified of what would happen to my life after the baby was born. People had warned me that life would never be the same and I felt an impending doom looming over 'the rest of my life.' I knew that everything I knew was going to change, but what people didn't prepare me for, what I couldn't have known, was how amazingly JOYOUS and my life was about to become. I was so worried about losing my life that I forgot that biblical principle that when you lose your life, you actually find it. I was scared that I would go crazy changing diapers and caring for someone who couldn't say thank you, but I didn't understand that once I saw the face of my beloved son, changing a diaper wouldn't feel like a chore anymore. I would do anything for my little guy. I can honestly say that I'm learning so much about love through this child, and that I never knew love like this before. Not only is it my joy and privilege to take care of him, but I was wrong to think he couldn't say thank you. Sometimes when I'm feeding him, he looks up and gives me a goofy smile, and milk drips all down his cute little cheek. That is all the thank you I'll ever need. And if I didn't have that 'thank you,' it would still be my JOY to raise Caleb Joshua. It's all so worth it. I never knew.

As far as babies go, I believe we've been incredibly blessed as well. Caleb has a sweet little personality. His smiles, coos, and giggles light up my life like never before. I feel like I was made to be his mom (even though I'm not always convinced I'm doing my job very well.) It's so hard to describe, but from the moment he was born it's like God injected me with His LOVE IV and I have this pure love running through my very veins. We may not get as lucky with our next baby(ies) as far as the sweet personality, but I know that God will fill me with all the love I need for my future children, and I can't wait to see what that looks like!

A friend asked me if Caleb was taking the place of God in my life. I thought about it, but I answered no. Then I thought about it some more. I realized that loving and serving Caleb (and Josh) is the main job that God has given me right now, and that in doing these jobs to the best of my ability (weak though I am), I AM loving and serving God. I see the face of Jesus as I raise Caleb, and I understand God's love for me in a new and entirely different way than I had before. The love I have for Caleb blows me away. I told Josh at times it's so strong I feel like my heart is going to explode. He rolled his eyes at me because he thinks I'm SO WEIRD, which I am, but still, it's true. I've had to think about whether I am keeping Josh as #2 (just behind Jesus, of course). It's easy to love Caleb. As I said, it's in my veins. Loving a spouse is a differently wonderful kind of love and yet as those of us are married know, it becomes a daily choice to make. And some days are easier/harder than others. So I'm praying to keep my priorities straight, but the more I love and serve Caleb, the more Josh and I celebrate our relationship as well, and I love being in Josh's family. It's amazing how we were two people and now we are three. That may sound cliche, but it still boggles my mind.

Speaking of amazing, I'm constantly amazed that my body is now producing milk, and that the milk I make covers all of Caleb's nutritional needs. And that by drinking only that milk, he has now doubled his body weight. God is so good! Nursing was so difficult at first because we got off to a bad start, but I'm so grateful to my mom and the lactation expert who helped me stick with it--and to God, who has always provided just enough milk for each day. It started out painfullly, but now nursing as well is a true joy and I'm so glad that I was able to continue.

In our second year of marriage, I asked Josh what he thought love was. He said: 'sacrifice and enjoy.' I then continued to berate him and tell him what an idiot he was and that it made no sense at all. Now I understand. Now I know. It's another one of those biblical principles. When I truly sacrifice, I truly enjoy and the sacrifice doesn't feel like sacrifice. Sacrifice and enjoy. My new life.

Looking forward to more sacrificing and enjoying in 2011.

My Birth Story

2010-08-28T08:41:00.001-07:00

Here is my birth story for anyone interested:

My mom arrived in Taiwan on July 8th to make sure she would be here in plenty of time for the birth of her sixth grandchild. Well, she could have saved herself the trouble and come about three weeks later, but I was glad to have her company anyways. My due date of July 20th had come and gone by the time I went in on July 27th for yet another doctor's appointment and ultrasound. Our baby always hid during the ultrasounds, with his hands over his face, so there wasn't much to see either. My mom and I had been walking all around town, trying to make the baby come out. Josh was at the ready and always told me to call him if I had any "construction" (contractions). My doctor said that we would need to induce labor sometime in the next few days and told me to just come check myself in whenever I was ready. I wanted to let Kai-Jia come on his own, but I also wanted to get the show on the road and let grandma meet him while she was here! It seemed like a daunting responsibility to decide what day to have my baby. The next day (Wednesday the 28th) I was somewhat depressed. Still no baby. I decided to check myself in on the 29th to be induced, but I had hoped and prayed that the baby would come naturally. We tried watching Youtube videos about which pressure points to massage in order to get something started, but nothing was happening, and Caleb hadn't even 'dropped' yet.

My mom and I had nothing left on our to-do list except to ride the "duck bus," an amphibious bus that rides into Lotus Lake. My dad had suggested eating cheeseburgers to make the baby come and I was ready to try anything, so I had a cheeseburger for lunch. About that time I started feeling some cramping in my stomach, but I didn't want to get my hopes up that it could be labor, so I didn't say anything. My mom and I proceeded with our plans to ride the duck bus, but the pains were becoming more noticeable, so I asked her if it could be labor. She started timing them and we waited around for our turn on the duck bus. By the time we got on the bus, around 5pm, they were coming almost 5 minutes apart, but they still weren't that painful. We thought maybe I could give birth on the bus! But no action yet. I was partially worried that my water would break, but little did I know that wouldn't happen until much later. I got home and told Josh that the time had come--he was a little surprised! I took a shower, but the contractions were coming 2-3 minutes apart by then, so we decided I didn't have time to wash my hair. Still, it wasn't too painful yet. By the time we got in the car I couldn't talk during contractions, but I still felt okay. I was excited! We got to the hospital and I went to the labor room around 7pm, feeling pretty confident that the baby was coming fairly quickly, after all, my mom's first baby came after just 6 hours of labor. The nurses wanted to measure my contractions, but to do so I had to lay on a bed and let them monitor for 20 minutes. Well, laying on my back made the contractions WAY worse, so I turned onto my side. After 20 minutes the nurses came back and said that I would have to lay flat on my back and that they were starting over for another 20 minutes--NOT what I wanted to hear. I was already in a lot of pain and dreading each contraction. They started monitoring again, and by the time they were done I was in SERIOUS pain, so when they measured me and said that I was only one centimeter dilated, it was a HUGE disappointment. At that rate, I thought I'd never make it. They suggested that I go home--I couldn't believe it! They asked if I wanted to see the doctor and I said okay. My doctor said I should wait until midnight to check in. At the time I didn't understand that that was because of the way they charge for a whole 24 hours if you check in in the evening, but oh well. We sat in the waiting room trying to decide what to do and I was in so much pain with each contraction. The other pregnant ladies waiting for their appointments must have been watching me in horror as my mom and Josh tried to coach me to breathe. It was embarrassing, but I didn't know what else to do. Finally, I though let's just go to the 2nd floor (labor area) waiting area. Much better--many less people, but I was still dying. Finally, around 9pm I said I just wanted to check myself in, so I did. The nurses prepped me for labor, but each time a contraction came, I could barely function. They hooked me up to a heart monitoring device to check on the baby. Since the cord was wrapped around his neck, it was hard for him to get enough oxygen when I was having a contraction. The nurses said I would have to breathe more deeply, and put me on oxygen, but I just wasn't able to breathe enough for both of us with how painful the contractions were, so around 10pm I asked for an epidural. No need to be a hero, I thought. The difference after getting the epidural was night and day. I could actually relax and breathe enough for Caleb to get air during contractions. In fact, I only knew when I was having a contraction by watching Caleb's heart monitor. From then on, it was mostly a waiting game. The nurses would check on my progress every once in a while, but Caleb still hadn't "dropped," which seemed to be slowing everything down. Around 2am I was about 8cm dilated but he still hadn't dropped. I asked if I could stand up to try to help and they said that I could if I thought I could feel my legs. I said I could so I stood up with Josh's help and whoosh--my water suddenly broke. The nurses said that was great! They had me lay back down and checked out the situation and said it would be soon now--we were going to have a baby soon! Josh predicted around four, but I predicted around 6am. (I was right haha). Anyways, I was about 9 1/2 cm dilated, almost baby time, around 4am I think, when they discovered that Caleb had pooped! Guess being nine days late he couldn't hold it anymore. Baby's first poop is called meconium and it can be very dangerous if it comes out in the womb because they can swallow it, etc. So they decided they needed to get the baby out as soon as possible! They had me start trying to push and said I was doing a good job but his head wasn't in the right position yet, which was making progress slow. My epidural wore off and I was starting to feel a lot of pain, but thought the end must be near. Then all of the sudden everyone disappeared. My mom told me that another woman and her mom had come running into the hospital and they rushed her right into the delivery room. She gave birth in thirty minutes! Then it was my turn. They wheeled me into the delivery room around 4:45am I guess. My groggy doctor came in a little while later. By then I was in serious pain, but there was nothing to be done. They kept saying he was almost coming but I didn't let myself believe anybody. Like in a race when everyone says "You're almost there," even when you've just begun. However, the doctor decided an episiotomy was necessary to speed things along. If you don't know what that is, you don't want to know! Anyways, Caleb's head came out and the doctor cut the cord, but I had no idea what was going on. Then he pulled out the rest of the baby and held him up and said "Here's your baby." The lifeless, slimy, alien-like being that he held up was purple and brown and looking awful. "He's not breathing!" I cried out, wishing the doctor wouldn't waste precious seconds showing him to us when he should be saving his life instead. The doctor was very casual and said they would take care of it. It seemed like FOREVER that the doctor and about four nurses were working on Kai-Jia, and we kept listening for a cry but never heard one. Josh and I were praying and I just imagined his little life passing out of this world and going home empty-handed. But we gave him the name Caleb Joshua to represent Bible characters that had big faith, so I knew God was calling on me to have faith as well. It was just not the kind of test I was looking for. Anyways, FINALLY they brought him to me and he was all bundled up but they laid him on me for a minute and we snapped a picture. My heart was so relieved and overjoyed. This precious gift was ours and was ALIVE! Praise God! They explained that he was unstable and they had to take him away and I understood, though I didn't know how long it would be before they let me see him again. That was a long first day and I missed him like crazy, but the very next day they handed him over to us--our baby! Our lives will never be the same. Caleb Joshua Hong was born at 5:38 am on July 29th, 2010. He weighed 2.9 kgs (about 6 pounds, 6 ounces) and was 50cm long (about 19 inches). I LOVE being Caleb's mom!
(Not the end, just the beginning...)

Caleb is here!

2010-08-09T02:34:00.000-07:00

We are so happy to announce the birth of our firstborn: Caleb Joshua Hong/洪凱嘉. He was born at 5:38 on Thursday morning, July 29th, 2010. He weighed 2.9 kilos, which is about 6 pounds and 6 ounces, and he measured 50cm long, which is about 19 inches. He is a tiny little guy and we are just so in love with him, despite the sleep deprivation we are currently experiencing. Adding to the fun, my parents are here from California to visit and to help us adjust to our new life as a family. We are so grateful to God for our little bundle of joy. Here are a few photos and I intend to write my birth story soon and add it here.

halt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5503350886438775314" />
Mama and Baby just after birt

Daddy loves Caleb

Little Sweetie

A special Father's Day!

40 weeks nownow

2010-06-02T03:26:00.000-07:00

The hospital where I will give birth

Well, my due date has come and gone and no action yet! I have been meaning to blog for months but I haven't, and sadly I haven't really been journaling either, but overall it's been a great pregnancy! No complaints. My mom is here in Taiwan now and she has been a great help with getting ready for the baby's arrival. We have the crib about ready now and most of the baby's clothes washed and somewhat organized, and we have even been organizing other parts of the house as we wait for Caleb. We're trying to find other ways to pass the time as well, like taking big long walks, eating mango ice, and riding buses to see where they go! Good times. I am starting to feel like the baby will never arrive, but I'm pretty sure my doctor will not let me go longer than the end of the month, so sooner or later he should be here. In our last ultrasound the doctor discovered that the baby's cord is wrapped around his neck one time--he said no big deal; that happens to about 30% of babies, but still it is somewhat concerning to me. If you are reading this before I give birth, please say a prayer for us! It doesn't seem real or possible, but the next time I blog I suppose I will be a mother! Thank you to all of our friends and family for the wonderful support you have given us during this time.

-Paula

Preggers and Loving It!

2010-05-05T20:40:00.000-07:00

Wow, a lot has happened since I wrote my last blog. We have settled in to living in Taiwan quite nicely. God answered our prayers for my visa and we got it while on a visa run to Thailand. We didn't have one document we needed, but God was on our side and they had mercy on me and granted me a resident visa. I then was able to get my spouse ARC in Taiwan and I will even qualify for insurance in early July, hopefully before Baby Hong arrives. (Due July 20th) I have been really bad about blogging ever since I joined Facebook, but I did want to post a quick update. I am now 7 months pregnant and still feeling great. Josh has a job working at a French restaurant owned by a church couple, and is studying to go to seminary in the fall. He wants to become a youth pastor at our new church, Bilingual Community Church. Recently I've just been subbing at different BuXiBans (cram schools). Some nicer than others. I'm also helping teach Sunday School at church some weeks. Still waiting for my nesting instincts to kick in, though I suspect I may not have any of those. I will have to force myself to get that baby's room ready. We found out that we are having a boy, and so far from the ultrasounds, everything looks good. It's so amazing to see his heart beating and look at his developing brain, spine, and other internal organs! God is amazing. We are considering the English name: Caleb Joshua Hong, and for the Chinese name I like Hong Kai-____. Need one more syllable to complete the name, but it's tricky to find something that doesn't sound like something else or sound girly or sound bad in Taiwanese...sigh. Anyways, here's a photo series of my growing belly. It really has popped out in the past few weeks. Someone even gave up their seat for me on the MRT for the first time! Baby currently weighs about 2 1/2 pounds or 1.2 kilograms. I'm hoping he'll be just the right size when it comes time for delivery :)

Back in Taiwan!

2010-02-11T04:58:00.001-08:00

It feels good to be back in Taiwan--and back blogging, for that matter! It's been a while. Well, Josh and I arrived here in Kaohsiung late night Feb. 5th and since then we've been trying to get back into the swing of things. We took our first ride on the MRT, and checked out the new Hanshen Department store by our house. We hopped back on my old scooter and took some rides around town. We ate some traditional Taiwanese food like danbing (not sure how to translate) and goat noodles--yum--and we visited my favorite tea shop. We went to our previous church as well as a new church, and we're having fun meeting old friends and new. The weather is nice and warm during the day and cool during the night--perfect!

For those of you who may not know, we brought some extra special cargo along with us to Taiwan. That's right, I've got a bun in the oven! You can't see it yet but I'm about 4 months pregnant and we're expecting Baby Hong mid July. So excited! We plan to have the baby in Taiwan and stay here long-term. Meanwhile, we are both looking for jobs, and I am trying to get my visa situation ironed out.

Please join us in praying for the following things:
For Josh: to get a job with reasonable hours and decent pay in which he can utilize his talents and glorify God
For me: my visa situation is complicated. I will need to either leave the country and come back with a different visa, get a job, or become a full time student in order to stay. I'm not sure if any of these options will allow me to get health insurance before the baby is born, which is kind of stressing me out, thought it would still be much cheaper than having a baby in the U.S.
For Baby: to grow and develop according to Gods plan and that I would be as healthy as possible and be protected from scooter accidents, H1Ni, etc.

September '09

2009-09-21T12:18:00.001-07:00

It's beginning to feel a lot like fall! Actually tomorrow is the first official day of fall, and for that I am excited.

Here's the update on life with Josh and Paula--I finished student teaching in May and got my IL teaching certification shortly thereafter. Yay! Josh quit his job in July so that we could attend our friends' (Robert and Julie's) wedding celebration in MN that month. Prior to that, my wonderful dad dropped off my mom's old Honda Accord from CA, since both of our trucks broke down for good at the end of spring. Those poor trucks just couldn't take it anymore. We got back from MN, and since we had the use of a great car and no jobs to tie us down, we decided to continue our road trip by heading out to PA, stopping by to visit our friend Ruth in Ohio. She's preparing to be a missionary in Croatia! Then we saw Robert and Julie again briefly (at his house this time) on our way to spend a few days with Jenny Bisht, my beloved former roommate from my first year in Taiwan. We even got to take Josh on a day trip to our nation's capital! We had a great time seeing Jenny, then stayed a night with my old college roommate Blaire, also in PA. We took the long way back, visiting our friends Nathan and Alissa in Michigan. What a great trip! Thanks for your hospitality, everyone.

In late July, most of my family came out to visit and attend the Shinners family picnic. Good times had by all. Since they left, Josh and I enjoyed a few months of unemployment. We filled out endless applications and attended many interviews, but all we landed were a few odd jobs, so we've mostly been living off of my student loans and the grace of God! Meanwhile, I've gotten my thesis almost done, which means we can move out of here (IL) at the end of October. We are ready to move on, but I am glad for the chance to enjoy one more real autumn. On our way back to CA we look forward to visiting our good friends Josh and Emily in MO!

AND HERE'S THE GOOD NEWS: We are very grateful after a long search to announce that Josh got a job a Party City, which will last through Halloween--perfect! After a successful phone interview, I am going in to Christian Heritage Academy this week to observe and meet the principals, in hopes of becoming a substitute teacher there. Finally, our job hunt looks like it's coming to an end. Other than that, my thesis is my main focus, and I am doing my final presentation on it October 21st! Can't wait to be 100% done with grad school! (Well besides for paying my debt.) Thanks for stopping by my blog and God bless you with a bountiful harvest season!

Spring Inspiration

2009-05-15T11:45:00.000-07:00

During my time as a student teacher, I threw a poetry party as a reward for my third graders for filling up their "cool bean" jar. It was something that my cooperating teacher started with them as an incentive for good behavior--they got to throw a few beans in the jar if they got caught doing the right thing. Anyways, I wrote a poem for the pink blossoms in the courtyard, but did not actually get a chance to read it. Here's the poem and here's the tree.

Pink Blossom

Bright pink blossom
The stubbornness of life
And hope
That won't be quieted
By dismal gray days

All of the sudden it bursts forth
In beauty
Untamed and uninhibited
Despite the troubles all around it
Despite the winter barely melted
Despite the wars and woes around us
It's beauty pierces through
In the midst of it all

My heart is quieted within me
And I cannot quell the hope that has awakened there
I cannot quench
This thirst for life within me
Though in a short amount of time
It falls
***

My students were also inspired by meeting Mr. Josh, and wrote a few excellent poems for him. Here are some of those :)

JOSH plus Mrs. Hong

His name is Josh
He moved from Tywong
He married a girl
Her name is Mrs. Hong
She was my student teacher
I know her well
Hong

From: Kelsey

Josh the tallest
Awesome the coolest
Awesome at wires and making light
With a battery (from Science lab lesson that day)
Very Smart
And a wonderful husband
And a very smart wife

From: Matthew

Just married
Out of this world guy
Shoves kids--j/k
Have a great trip

People smart
A great person
U r awesome teacher
Likes Josh
A great teacher

From: Amanda

Hong
Open for a student teacher
Nice
Graceful

From: Kelsey

Josh the best
person in the world
Josh
Josh
the best
person
in the world

From: Matthew

I'm pretty ashamed that this is my first blog of the year!

2009-05-07T20:07:00.001-07:00

I did it! I finished grad school and student teaching! (Well, except for my thesis project...) I can't believe it. I never could have done it without the loving support of God, my husband, my family, my professors and cohort members, and my friends, so it really was a group effort. Thanks everybody! Here's a photo of my cohort on our last day of class.

So the big question now is: WHAT NEXT? I know, it's on everybody's minds. Well, I'm not exactly sure. I need some major guidance from the Holy Spirit, but will accept your friendly input as well, should you choose to provide some. I have a few options:

1. Finish my thesis as soon as possible, spend a few months in CA, then get back to Taiwan.

2. Visit Taiwan this summer, then stay in CA for another year.

3. (The newest and most surprising option) Get a teaching job at a private Christian school associated with the Chinese Christian Church in Chinatown and stay in IL for another year. (Thel church that meets at Morisson in Kaohsiung is connected to this church.)

We also would like to start a family soon, but are waiting on God's timing and provision for this. It seems very complicated from our point of view, but at least from God's perspective it is not. No matter which option we choose, (or it could be another option not listed here), I am excited for what lies ahead, and praying that God will use my hard work in Trinity Grad School for the building of His kingdom in some way. Amen! Lead us, God!

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-31T10:31:00.000-08:00

Josh and I had a great time celebrating the birth of Jesus in 2008! Thanks, Pete and Nichole for the DDR Hottest Party 2! Thanks Eric, for having us over as always. We'll be seeing you again tonight for New Year's Eve! The celebration at my Grandma's house was great as well, with all my aunts and uncles and cousins, etc. Josh and I performed the new hit skit: "What if Jesus was Born in Taiwan?" as pictured below. (The pictures are in reverse order from evening to morning.) Enjoy!

29 and Feeling Fine

2008-12-31T10:20:00.003-08:00

I had a lovely birthday this year with some friends and family, and of course, my sweetie!

enjoying fall!

2008-10-16T19:46:00.001-07:00

Here I am with the hugest (real) pumpkin I have ever seen! It is the pumpKING!

We went apple picking! It was Josh's first time, but he was a pro! I guess all the experience on his grandpa's orchard helped.

yum yum

jump for joy!

apple booty!

More of the garden.

2008-10-06T16:30:00.000-07:00

Hope you're not sick of the garden yet. I know I'm not. Every time I go back it's a little different.

The Colors of Fall

2008-09-26T19:21:00.001-07:00

Fall's Top 10

10. butternut squash
9. wearing socks and sweaters in crisp autumn air
8. popcorn/kettle corn
7. dark chocolate and caramel
6. apple cider and honey crisp apples
5. pumpkin gingerbread baby bundt cake from Corner Bakery
4. fall's aroma
3. pumpkin spice lattes
2. fall foliage
1. any combination of the above. The more the merrier!

I LOVE FALL! YAY!

Still loving the garden!

2008-09-21T10:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was supposed to be stuck in a "Non-violent Crisis Intervention" training for work all day, but they let us out early, so I decided to enjoy the nice day and ride my bike to the Botanic Gardens. A lot of the summer blooms are fading now, but some autumny blooms are coming in and I LOVE them. Not to mention the autumn leaves. I also saw at least 10 brides and their wedding parties taking pictures and having receptions. They were all beautiful, of course. I enjoyed my afternoon out immensely and hope I can sneak in a few more visits to the garden before the weather turns and I never want to leave the house again. Can you spot my bike on this path where I usually run?

God's creation is so amazing!

The clouds reflected in the water.

I'm a sucker for these bright orange sunflowers.

The waterfall by the Japanese gardens.

It's almost coming!

2008-09-17T19:22:00.001-07:00

It seems like the trees just got their leaves back after winter, but they're already starting to change colors. I can't believe that fall is almost here! This first picture is from the the carillon concert we attended at the Botanic Garden!

Beth, this one's for you!

Summertime!

2008-09-08T15:30:00.000-07:00

Welcome back after a long hiatus from updating my blog. Somehow I am just not as excited about blogging as when I lived in Taiwan, but I will try to be better! Josh and I had a nice summer, albeit a quick one. During the summer my parents came to IL for a visit, we went to the Shinners family picnic, my parents bought me a Botanic Garden membership, and I have been staying on top of my grad school work. In addition, I got a part time job at Sunset's deli to help make ends meet. Pictured here are: Josh's sweet fashion finds from a day of shopping, a trip to Six Flags Great America sponsored by Uncle Ron and Aunt Terry, Josh and I at the garden, and Ron's 65th birthday party. I can't believe school is already back in session at the junior high, and I had a surprising job assignment--7th grade boys with emotional/behavioral disorders. Quite the challenge for me. But it will be Christmas before I know it and then I start student teaching in January, so I try to stay positive. Thanks for visiting my blog!

May

2008-05-25T20:49:00.000-07:00

Ok, it's official: I haven't updated my blog for 6 months. That's half of a year. Geez--time flies when you enter Grad School. Sorry everybody. I am about to give you the rapid-fire highlights of the past months and hopefully try to update my blog at least once a month from now on. We'll see how I do...

Here are the anniversary flowers that Josh got me for our second anniversary. GOOD JOB, sweetie!

We went into Chicago for our anniversary date. Josh wore his "Love" shirt.

I LOVE the spring blossoms on the trees. This was my favorite tree of the day.

After eating something and wandering around the park, we went to Lincoln Park Zoo! It was FREE.99, but such a great zoo! We had a really good time wandering around and checking out the animals. Of course the wildest animal of all is the one pictured next to me, and I don't mean the lion.

April

2008-05-25T20:34:00.001-07:00

In Chicago with Mom

With my bro at a family get-together at Gradma Avi's

Grandma and the gang

holding Smiley Brylie

Chicago in spring!

March

2008-05-25T20:24:00.000-07:00

We got to hang out with our cousins Luke and Nora at our place.

New Faith Community Church

Geordie's Easter message

Nothing like a little RockBand to put us in the Easter spirit!

February

2008-05-25T20:13:00.001-07:00

Josh going for his Sunset interview!

A yummy dinner I made.

Josh's surprise birthday party at Eric and Lilian's house

The birthday boy and me!

January

2008-05-25T20:02:00.000-07:00

A New Year's kiss

With our friends Eric and Lilian at the Brazilian church party

My parents in Highland Park after a snow storm

A special lunch with Grandma Avi

December

2008-05-25T19:45:00.000-07:00

Our Charlie Brown Christmas Tree, compliments of my aunt. I made most of the ornaments.

Josh with the loot.

Excited about Christmas morning!

My parents flew out on Christmas! Here we are at Grandma Avi's house.

28 and feeling great

2007-11-15T18:27:00.000-08:00

I turned 28 this month and feel as full of life as ever. It's nice having a spouse--a built-in somebody to care that it's your special day. I also got lots of email notes from friends, which was a pleasant surprise. Thanks, everyone.

Fall in IL was delayed this year, I assume in honor of our arrival here in the midwest, which I appreciate greatly. On my birthday I took a walk around and took photos of trees in their various stages of color. I am employed now, which some of you may know. I am an English Language Learners (ELL) paraprofessional (school staff without a credential). Sounds fancy, but it's not really. I am very thankful to have a job and will be even more thankful when I get paid later this month! Woohoo. Josh is still waiting on his greencard; it's a slow and painful process, but we have hope that we may be nearing the end of it. While here we have been well taken care of by family (my dad's side of the family lives out here). On Thanksgiving we are going to my Aunt Francine's place, which I'm excited about. My sister, Jenni, also just came for a visit. I'll try to post pics of that soon--had technical difficulties last time I tried. Well, thanks for reading my blog--sorry I haven't been keeping it up as well. I post many pictures on facebook for those of you out there. God bless you, and Happy Thanksgiving!

We made it to the mid-west!

2007-10-01T09:21:00.001-07:00

Here's some photos of life in the mid-west:
Josh and I on our roadtrip out here. Yes, I drove the WHOLE way to IL

Josh and I on our day out in Chicago with Robert and Julie

With Uncle Ron at Cubs Game--yes, they won!

Josh with Uncle Ron and Aunt Terry in Chinatown

At Grandma Avi's 86th Birthday Party.

My dad with his mom

Life in America

2007-08-29T14:56:00.001-07:00

Life is sweet here at my old home sweet home in CA. Here are a few pics
Josh with Avery, age 4

Josh with my newest niece, Brylie, age 6 mos. So nice to meet her finally!

Avery pushing my other niece, Kloe. Kloe is turning two Sep. 9th

A Ba-De-Lu (8th Street our old home in Kaohsiung) reunion. Rebecca, Ilene and I. We do our own stunts.

Josh and I showing off

Lots of adventures

2007-08-04T21:30:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the long pause between blogs--I have been having lots of adventures! My mom came to Taiwan at the end of July and I quit my job and we headed to Taipei for a weekend with my BFF Beth (to see pics of that weekend in Jiufen and Yeliu look at Beth's blog: www.grapefruitgreentea.blogspot.com). Then the real adventures began--My Mom and I headed to China on an insane 2+ week trip planned by yours truly in which we saw all the major sights in fast motion. I won't post many pictures on here because it takes so long but I put up some highlights. I will post more on facebook soon too. (If you don't have facebook just go to www.facebook.com, sign in, and then look up Paula Hong). Josh and I are almost going to America and bound to have more adventures there. Check back for updates!

Goodbye ORTV Bible Study in Kaohsiung

2007-06-23T21:47:00.001-07:00

Goodbye to my sweet students

2007-06-20T20:53:00.000-07:00

I have been teaching a free adult class for parents of students at my school. We learn songs and study Let's Talk in English magazine. I also have the chance to share with them about my relationship with Jesus and my faith, so it's very fulfilling. They very sweetly took me out to Thai food as a goodbye dinner--yum yum! My favorite! I will really miss all of them! Thank you for the dinner if you are reading this message.

This is Ian and his daughter, Annie. Ian has shown a lot of interest in the gospel. Please pray for him as he suffers from chronic back and joint pain--pray that God would heal him and give him freedom from this. Also pray for him and his family, that their faith will grow!

More lovely students!

Dragon Boat Festivities!

2007-06-20T09:12:00.001-07:00

I took a trip to the east coast of Taiwan for my four day holiday. I travelled to Taidong to meet up with my old roommate, Rebecca. Here's Rebecca and her roommate, Faith enjoying "pao pao bing"--mango milk ice--Yummy!

Oh joy of joys

Beth joined us later in the afternoon and we had dinnner at Pasadena's, a cool Southwestern style restaurant

The next day we headed to the beach. To our amazement Faith and Rebecca got right to work survivor style building a shelter. Beth and I thought we might have to stay the night on the beach!

Playing in the tide pools

Hanging out with Jesus on the beach

"I wish they all could be California girls"--or Taidong girls

At night we went up the hill to this cool place where you sit in a hut and eat a whole chicken with your hands--plastic gloves provided. We also had an amazing view of the lightening storms in Taidong

Ready to dig in

Kenting Church Retreat

2007-05-29T08:12:00.000-07:00

We all had a great time at the retreat and I was especially happy that Josh could come with me! I think he had to hire a mafia member to get him off work over the weekend, but it was worth it! Here we are

The main highlight of the trip for me was that our good friends David and Jamie Ney came along; they moved to Canada a few years ago, but came back for a visit. Here they are

and here is their sweet 15 month old daughter, Isabelle

Happy Anniversary, May 20, 2007

2007-05-20T06:23:00.000-07:00

Josh and I had a very sweet first anniversary. Our date at the British Consulate in Kaohsiung made me remember why I fell in love with him in the first place--which I guess is the point of anniversaries so in that respect it was very successful. Then we went to "Dream Mall," supposedly the biggest mall in Asia, to catch a movie. Despite the rain trying to keep us down, we had a great time together, and I even embraced my otherwise dormant 80's flare and purchased Taiwanese style leggings for the occasion--Josh was much impressed and kept telling me how great I looked--so laugh all you want, my husband was happy. Here's a photo of our wedding on this day a year ago, then some pictures of our date. Also, we attended a friend's wedding today, same day as us! See photo below.

Here's those 80's tights along with an ad for a movie my brother worked on at Sony Animation. Rock on, Pete!

Not your average anniversary party

2007-05-15T08:17:00.000-07:00

Here's Josh and I singing "I love technology"

The surprise strip dance. Don't worry, he had clothes on underneath.

The hosts of the Newlywed Game--a fun party surprise for us

Our consolation prize for losing.

Jesus loves the little children

2007-05-08T09:22:00.000-07:00

A few recent pics from "Little Sprouts"

Oh thank heaven

2007-05-08T09:08:00.000-07:00

For 7-11! Yes, they are putting a new 7-11 in right across from our place! I love this country. By the way, for those of you who may be new to my blog, make sure you check out the April posts to see some really cute pics! I'm outtie.

Elizabeth and Stephen just married again

2007-05-07T22:55:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Elizabeth and Stephen who just celebrated their one year wedding anniversary. Here they are performing a song and here Josh and I are dancing it up--not to their song though, that would be weird. You can also check out my recent perm here.

With good friends Mike and Kathy from Canada

Recent birthdays and weddings continued

2007-05-06T00:26:00.000-07:00

Happy wedding to Sharon, my former Schoolhouse co-worker

Robert had a VERY happy birthday at our place, as all can see

My friend Melony's daughter, Kaiwyn's fifth birthday party. Her father is Taiwanese so maybe Josh and I will have a child that looks like her someday!

Happy Easter!

2007-04-09T20:57:00.000-07:00

Easter is my favorite holiday of the year! I love spending time to focus on the mystery of Jesus' death and resurrection. Praise God! He is risen! Here are some photos of my students at Schoolhouse Language Center dyeing Easter eggs. I am not the world's most clever cook, so I accidentally soft-boiled the eggs. I didn't know that was possible until I did it. I told them not to eat the eggs and hoped they wouldn't notice--but when a few eggs accidentally hit the ground and some partially uncooked yolk was oozing out, there were many cries of "Aiyou!". Good times had by all! Josh also enjoyed his first egg hunt this year, compliments of my mom, the Easter bunny, who sent Spiderman eggs all the way to Taiwan. Way to make Easter a hit--good job, Mom! I love you.

Little Sprouts

2007-04-04T09:42:00.000-07:00

"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously." 2 Corinthians 9:6. I love this ministry! It is one of the reasons it will be hard to leave Taiwan. We just go to the park and ask the kids if they want to color (emphasizing that it's FREE to the parents), and kids come and learn about Jesus--most of them for the first time. As they're coloring and we have a captive audience, we tell them simple Bible stories, in English and Chinese. The parents are happy their kid is learning some English and the kids get the chance to hear the name of Jesus and find out that He loves them. What a deal! Praise God for the open door to do this ministry here in Taiwan. Our next big event will be Saturday, April 7th, a little pre-Easter party. I am excited to share the meaning of Easter with the children. If you're reading this before Saturday, please pray for the ministry.

Sweet Home...Chicago?

2007-04-04T08:35:00.000-07:00

That's right, Josh and I are planning to leave sunny Taiwan, a place which I am proud to call home, and move to...windy Chicago? Go figure. We plan to leave this wonderful land toward the end of July, swing by California for a month, and then hit IL about September, when Josh plans to start his internship at my Uncle's supermarket. After staying there for a year we then plan to head back to California for about another year before returning to Formosa. My aunt and uncle are pictured here on the right of the second photo: It's my dad's sister and her Italian husband. Josh and my uncle, Ron, hit it off when they met a couple years ago, so Josh always wanted to return and spend more time with Ron and Terry. It will be great to be near my extended family as well, and to enjoy my first real fall in about 10 years! I love the fall! Don't know how I will feel about winter, but at least I have Josh to keep me warm.

MV DOULOS

2007-04-04T08:22:00.000-07:00

Recently, I had the privilege of serving as "Translator 13" onboard the MV Doulos. Since my Mandarin is still limited, that mostly meant hanging around in the bookshop to answer people's questions and make announcements in Chinese. I had a wonderful time doing it, especially getting to know the crew members and interacting with the Taiwanese people who came onboard. One day I would love to be a translator for short-term missions groups coming to Taiwan (i.e. my brother's youth group, yes, that's you, Phil) So this was good practice for me. Unfortunately I know I will forget a lot of Chinese while Josh and I are visiting America over the next couple years...sounds like a topic for the next post.

Happy Year of the Pig!

2007-04-04T07:51:00.000-07:00

The student's lanterns at Love River are always amazing, and Josh enjoyed them especially this year during the Lantern Festival. Most of them were piggies in honor of the year of the pig (we would say boar, but here everybody just says pig.) I saw at least three ballerina pigs! Too cute! Nice fireworks display, too.

My wonderful nieces

2007-04-04T07:24:00.000-07:00

Don't I have the cutest nieces in the world? I'm sure many an aunt has said the same, but really: On the left is Avery and the newborn is Brylie, both coming from my second brother, Phil, and his wife, Alicia. On the pony is Kloe, just recently officially adopted (YAY!), by my oldest brother, Pete, and his wife Nichole. As for me, no kiddies yet, much to my Taiwanese friends and family's disappointment. (I mean after all, we've been married 10 months, clearly that's enough time to crank one out!) I'll keep you posted on that one, but Josh and I hope for a little one perhaps in late 2008 or 2009. We'll have to see what God's plans are in that department though.

I guess I'll hop on the bandwagon and get a blog

2007-04-04T06:36:00.000-07:00

When blogs first came out, I thought they were only for people strange enough to want everyone in the world to have access to their personal journal entries. I guess the concept has grown on me though, as I now see it as an alternative to inundating friend's email boxes with long emails about your life. This way, anyone who's interested in my life can check it out, and the rest don't need to be bothered. Next, I had to concvince myself that my life was actually interesting enough to have a blog, but hey, I live in Taiwan--Formosa--how cool is that. And I'm married to the most interesting, handsome and fashionable guy on the island, so at the very least I should have some good pics to post now and again.

I'm coming up on a four day weekend, so I figured it was now or never to get this thing started. Looking forward to further updates and receiving your comments in the near future. Meanwhile, feast your eyes on this--one of my favorite wedding photos of me and my hubby.